This is a custom made toque. I told them to match it with my dark skin color. They fucked up. I’m going to a tanning salon to fix that.

My mouth is pierced shut. My mom said my tounge is grounded for spitting on her.

I only got Botox on one side of my face because the other side is perfect. It just looks different.

The guy is asking for a virtual slap in the face. I don’t think he can take one and still be standing in the next photo.

Now that I’m married I’m going to let myself go and have the body of the guy behind me. Oh wait, I already do.

I wear shoulder pads because of all the bruises from my head gyrating like a bobble head doll into my shoulder.

Her Dad stuck that cigarette in her mouth when she was a baby and it’s stayed there ever since.

I just glued cotton candy to my head and now I’m acting like I’m on a sugar high.

Your nostrils are like a two car garage. You can park a car up that nose.

If I got in a fight with a chicken I would get the cock-a-doodle-doo out of there! I’m a baby rooster!