It’s hard to think outside the box when you’re living in one.

When people see a shooting star in Surrey they’re worried it’s going to hit them.

Canadian money isn’t backed by gold anymore it’s backed by oil. It’s made of plastic.

What do smokers call traveling on BC Ferries? A smoke break.

What are pillow fights called in Vancouver’s Eastside? Bed bug fights.

I just got a low flow toilet to help save the environment. It’s called the Fraser River.

Who needs to buy a new umbrella when you have Translink Lost and Found?

Why do stupid people even hire real estate agents? Houses sell by themselves in Vancouver.

I like to go around Vancouver stealing peoples bike locks as a warning that next time it’s going to be their bike. Unless someone beats me to it.

Vancouver is so expensive to live that even lottery winners are moving out of the city.