What does Big Bird call his genitals? A Feather Duster.
I find television very educational when it’s turned off.
The Real Housewives of Vancouver is going socially conscious and is creating an offshoot show called Desperate Single Mothers in Surrey.
Are you a fan of the discovery channel? Because I like to do it like a wild animal.
Future televisions will go from wide to half-screen, then quarter-screen and will slowly disappear when people realize life is better.
I like to watch television with my eyes closed so I wake up and finally realize I’m wasting my life.
My Smart TV has a better education than I do. I don’t even know how to work the thing.
A couch potato with a sick sense of humor is a twisted potato.
When I watch television I shout obscenities because I can see some ugly guys reflection covering the screen.
If I was a prostitute with bad flatulence, my street name would be Corner Gas.