On April Fools Day the new car smell smells like methane gas.

When the company Shell lays off too many employees it becomes a shell of itself.

What do you call wooden cars? Trees on wheels.

When you drive the shit out of your car it leaves skid marks.

I don’t drive, so my carbon footprint is small. About the size of my two feet.

When I’m at a stop light I keep going because I don’t let lights tell me what to do.

When a car thief steals someone’s car it’s called carpooling.

I want to drive a ford mustang so old, it’s still a horse.

Vancouver City Council is opening an HOV bike Lane for people riding on tandem bikes.

If the bus says it’s full and not picking up passengers I like to make sure it does by taking off my clothes and pole dancing at the stop.