When someone doesn’t look good in a bikini they’re ice cold.
The best way to tell if you are getting enough Vitamin D is with a sunburn.
I think they should rename tanning salons for what they truly are, human toasters.
Before Summer ends I want to play dead in front of a bear and have him bury me in a large hole.
I’ve always wanted to drive an ice cream truck in the Summer but stopped because the job melted at the end.
Every Summer I’m too busy with myself that sex life gets pretty parched.
I once straddled over a campfire in the summer and made toasted blue balls.
They say you should never directly look at the Sun in case of eye damage so I always look at it from the corner of my eye.
One year I was worried about getting sunburns, so I took an umbrella with me everywhere I went. To bad it was a patio umbrella and it was really tough dragging around the little plastic chairs and table.
I once went surfing with an ironing board. I got sunburned.