I bought a pair of jeans for 50% off today but the cashier cut off the legs and gave me those. Now I have a pair of leg warmers.

Value Village is coming out with a new perfume that reminds you of their stores. It’s called Stale.

I’m tired of waiting for boxing day to be able to afford an escort. So, now I wait until they have a Groupon.

They have a new men’s fragrance at Aldo called stinky socks.

Victoria’s Secret is coming out with a new bra with a secret compartment to stash your marijuana and give your breasts a fuller look.

I’m tired of waiting for boxing day to be able to afford an escort.

I like to pick up women at the grocery store No Frills because I know they aren’t going to be high maintenance.