They say you’re supposed to spend three months salary on a wedding ring for your girlfriend. But, I’m still trying to find a job that will keep me that long.
When I have sex with a woman I hold my stethoscope up to her chest to hear how much her heart loves me.
A woman has a good head on her shoulders when she uses Head and Shoulders shampoo.
I’m bringing mail order brides into Canada in boxes.
Obese husbands tell their pregnant wives, “We look more like a couple now.”
I once took my girlfriend to small claims court because she told me I was bad in bed. The judge was my ex-girlfriend and agreed with her and I lost.
My goal in life is to find a refurbished woman with no emotional baggage for marriage.
Rain makes the world dreary and hard to enjoy. But in relationships, golden showers make it more fun and fulfilling.
We’re going to a paperless world in the future and that means no more marriage certificates. We’re all going to be sluts.
I went on a date with a Japanese wedding planner recently and five minutes after the date started I knew this was the woman I want to marry. So, I proposed to her and told her to start planning our wedding.