Bars have air guitar competitions and strip clubs have air sex competitions.

When I go to a club with black lights I only wear tighty whiteys because they make my best assets glow in the dark.

By applause, How many of you love watching live music? I try to go to as many local concerts as I can but I’m not sure when I’ll go again because I keep getting kicked out for flashing my breasts.

When I’m a nightclub my dancing style is Dance Dance Revolution.

I can’t believe I wasn’t invited to my mom’s first show at the Number 5 Orange.

Don’t forget to tip your favourite stand-up comics. I have no problems with you putting $5 in my g-string.

It’s embarrassing going to the club and having all the black lights make your dandruff glow. At least when its full, my friends can pick me out of the crowd.