When someone is in a coma they are brainstorming how to get out of the situation.

I have a thick skin because it’s covered in crude oil.

When your life’s vision isn’t clear you’re looking out a foggy window.

I like making mistakes just so I can pretend to learn from them.

Life is like bread. It comes in slices and sometimes moments are flat.

Life is full of shit. But the best stuff floats to the top.

When people call me dumb I tell them I’m smarter than I think. Just not by much.

I wear ear plugs when I want to hear myself think.

I’m having a garage sale this weekend and I’m getting rid of all the baggage from my past.

I like living life on the edge. I don’t wear a watch.