I love my middle finger. It sticks up for me in fights.

When you take an asshole’s photograph you’re taking a dick pick.

A guy down the street today called me a nice asshole after I mooned him.

I’m tired of assholes shitting all over everybody. I wish they would swallow a box of ex-lax and shit themselves.

When you call someone an asshole there is actually two of them. So call them a double asshole.

What do you call it when you pull the wool over someone’s eyes? The Sweater.

When someone is almost an asshole they’re a Perineum.