Food no longer has an expiry date it has a best before date. So now it lasts forever or until eating it kills you.

What do you call a chocolate bar made of white and dark chocolate? Mulatto.

What do you call Swiss cheese? A mouse bunk bed.

I went to a restaurant and they gave me my leftovers in a biodegradable doggie bag. They told me it was going to taste like shit in the morning.

I’m surprised ham doesn’t taste like shit because it comes from a pigs ass.

What are potato chips good for? Disappointment.

I’m opening an artisan pizza shop called Cardboard because that’s what it’ll taste like you’re eating. It’s the secret ingredient.

What does a chef call his medical marijuana? Herbs & Spices.

People who dumpster dive for food prefer to eat leftovers.

Some people like to toss salad but I like to juggle it.