Food no longer has an expiry date it has a best before date. So now it lasts forever or until eating it kills you.

What do you call a chocolate bar made of white and dark chocolate? Mulatto.

What do you call Swiss cheese? A mouse bunk bed.

I went to a restaurant and they gave me my leftovers in a biodegradable doggie bag. They told me it was going to taste like shit in the morning.

I’m surprised ham doesn’t taste like shit because it comes from a pigs ass.

What are potato chips good for? Disappointment.

I’m opening an artisan pizza shop called Cardboard because that’s what it’ll taste like you’re eating. It’s the secret ingredient.