When you go on an instadate with a waitress it’s called take out.

The best part of a sex life is when it boils over into the kitchen.

When I’m in a relationship with a woman who has a foot fetish I always put my best foot forward.

What’s it called when you put a relationship with a librarian on hold? Bookmarking.

I know a guy that doesn’t pull his weight in the relationship because the woman is stronger then he is. He’s a light weight.

When you try too many sexual positions in the bedroom your partner thinks they’re a balloon animal being tied up.

After I make love to a woman she gets a hangover and never wants to do it again.