When you perform stand-up comedy and someone dies laughing, you killed.
My subconscious is a better joke writer than I am. He wrote every single one and I get to take credit for it.
What do you call a target audience? A Bullseye.
Anyone wanna hear a bad joke? I know 1,000 of them. I wrote them myself.
Whenever I see a bum sitting on the street I pull my pants down and do the same thing.
In the morning my jokes sound tired.
Whenever someone steals my jokes I become their ghostwriter.