When you perform stand-up comedy and someone dies laughing, you killed.

My subconscious is a better joke writer than I am. He wrote every single one and I get to take credit for it.

Anyone wanna hear a bad joke? I know 1,000 of them. I wrote them myself.

Sometimes I like to trip over my feet just to start a fight with myself.

In the morning my jokes sound tired.

When Brent Butt tells you who he is his surname moons you.

Whenever someone steals my jokes I become their ghostwriter.