Mike Tyson says if COVID-19 comes near him he’s going to punch it out. No one has told Mike yet that it’ll be inside him when he notices it. We look forward to the Mike Tyson vs Mike Tyson fight.
What does Big Bird call his genitals? A Feather Duster.
When Brent Butt tells you who he is his surname moons you.
When the Jolly Green Giant is angry he spits peas and q’s.
Right before you die God gives you death threats; all you see is a flickering a light bulb. When it stays on, you’re dead.
When Cheech & Chong do a meet and greet it’s called a smoke and toke.
What does RuPaul keep getting arrested for? Drag Racing.
What is called when a billionaire pees on everything at home? Decorating with gold.
Stephen Hawking predicted the end of the universe when he died. He was right.
I’ve always wanted to be a Hollywood star so I’m going to staple my body to the Hollywood sign doing a snow angel.