Time flies when you’re a bird.
Sometimes I like to stick my head in a bird house just to see how they make love.
The overweight pigeons on Granville Island are really living up to the pig in their name.
I’m a fan of bird watching because I think they’re one of the most beautiful creatures but I wish they’d stop using me as target practice.
Whenever a crow is flying above I always stop, drop and roll in case he tries to bomb me.
What do you call a chicken that walked into an electric fence? A fried chicken.
When a chicken flies into a fire it turns into BBQ Chicken.
I once joined a gang of seagulls. We would swoop in and steal peoples food while I pooped on their heads.
I was on Granville Island today and a seagull tried to steal my food so I pulled it away. He came back a second time and pooped all over it.
I remember the first time I had a bird go to the bathroom on my head. I was so furious that I chased it down and after I caught him I pooped on his head too.