When a couch potato drinks too much alcohol he becomes mashed.
When a pregnant woman is really angry steam comes out of her nipples. That’s how steamed milk was first made.
What do people think when they see a cute dog? Is he going to hump my leg?
When I use my dad’s Beats headphones I get a spanking. Now I know why they call them that.
After I make love to a woman she gets a hangover and never wants to do it again.
Canadian money isn’t backed by gold anymore it’s backed by oil. It’s made of plastic.
Paper money isn’t backed by gold it’s backed by trees.
The reason people wear synthetic fragrances is because they want to attract someone that’s fake.
When you drive the shit out of your car it leaves skid marks.
When you suck the fun out of marijuana there’s no thc left.