Did you hear about the woman that wants to eliminate the word man? She wants to be known as a Wo.

What do you call a vegan in a coma? A Vegetable.

Take my wife please, I’m boyfriend material.

What do you look like when you wear caked-on makeup? A Cadaver.

When a BC Ferries idea doesn’t float it sinks.

The best part about being a drug sniffer dog is no one knows that you love to get high.

A nice sunburned ass can sure brighten the day. Except for theirs.

A mosquito fainted while he was taking blood from me today. He must have been scared to death of me because he died right after.

I love automatic doors because they make me feel like a King. Now I have an ego the size of the Royal Family.

I got over my fear of flying by closing my eyes.