Did you hear about the woman that wants to eliminate the word man? She wants to be known as a Wo.
What do you call a vegan in a coma? A Vegetable.
Take my wife please, I’m boyfriend material.
What do you look like when you wear caked-on makeup? A Cadaver.
When a BC Ferries idea doesn’t float it sinks.
The best part about being a drug sniffer dog is no one knows that you love to get high.
A nice sunburned ass can sure brighten the day. Except for theirs.
A mosquito fainted while he was taking blood from me today. He must have been scared to death of me because he died right after.
I love automatic doors because they make me feel like a King. Now I have an ego the size of the Royal Family.
I got over my fear of flying by closing my eyes.