When I was searching for my lost Funnybone leaves were flying everywhere.
When you walk into a door the bump that forms on your head is called a doorknob.
The best way to enjoy an escalator ride is to meditate. The session ends when you fall.
Obituaries should be written by the people that know us best, our enemies.
I call my cat Litterbox because that’s where he likes to sleep.
When two pregnant women meet they hit baby bumps so the fetuses can headbutt each other.
Look on the bright side at least you’re not looking at my backside every night. – The Moon
When you kidnap a cat you’re giving them a chance to experience another one of their nine lives.
Road rage is what pavement feels after being treated like dirt.
A golf balls biggest fear is grass stains.
An emotionless sports fan is called a cardboard cutout.